Back to the gym (sigh)

Like many compounds in Dubai, ours has a gym that I visit erratically. It overlooks the pool, so while you’re working out, you can watch swimmers and sunbathers, which makes it marginally more interesting, I suppose.

For a while, it was a running joke that it was harder to gain access to the gym than it was to drive into our compound. If you’re behind the wheel of a 4×4, merely looking like an expat is usually enough to get you waved through security into our compound, whereas the gym became all draconian, requiring paperwork, access keys and a signing-in-and-out system.

The Yummy Mummies straight after school drop off (who I secretly want to look like)
All rather off-putting, especially if you’re not particularly gym-inclined in the first place.

Today, I got past the security guard perched outside the gym with no problem, and stepped on the treadmill to start my back-to-the-gym campaign.

Admittedly, it was a soft, leisurely start and so as the conveyor belt revolved at a fast walking-pace beneath my feet and my lungs contracted, I had time to read the gym rules.

I just love the rules that are posted in public places in Dubai. They’re always amusing…here are a few of my favourites from the gym:

● Wear proper gym attire (athletic tennis or cross training shoes only, T-shirt, shorts, or sweat pants. NO: Jeans, sandals, open-toe shoes or boots) … [Boots! As if! Half expected heels to be listed too]

● Do not put hands on mirrors … [you cheeky monkey]

● Only water bottles to be used in the gym & on equipment. Cups are prohibited … [so leave them at home, naughty!]

● Do not use weights on cardiovascular equipment … [do people actually do this?]

● No bags (gym bags, purses or back packs) allowed on the gym floor … [don’t say you weren’t warned!]

Though, perhaps the funniest thing was the sweet cleaning lady in the restroom afterwards who started wafting a big wad of tissues by my bright-red face, fanning me as though I was about to expire.

In my defence, the AC was broken – yes, really! And humidity levels are in the ‘high stress’ zone this month.

7 thoughts on “Back to the gym (sigh)

  1. Wow, your resolve is much higher than mine – the broken AC would have sent me running! Good for you for sticking with your resolve. Our apartment complex gym doesn’t have a list of rules but they have signs on all the cardio equipment that say, “Please wipe sweat on the machines. Thank you.”
    I get what they’re trying to say, but it still makes me snicker every time.

    • That IS funny!! Here, I always see a sign in elevators that says, ‘In case of fire, do not use elevator’ – it might just be me, but don’t you think that suggests you should never use the elevator in case there’s a fire? Maybe it’s my subconscious telling me to take the stairs!

  2. Molly Gryskiewicz says:

    M, wish we could workout together…and maybe find some motivation…I told Chris this evening if I want to keep eating so much I will need to workout 24/7!!!!

  3. For awhile at our gym (before the new owners) we had young men come in and work out with flip flops! Drove me up a WALL!!! Seriously?? You’re working out with flip flops??? And there is a guy (we call him the Gross Guy) who wears teensy shorts and a tank with barely any material so he can showcase his goods….he’s a grunter, a sweater and OLD. I audibly groan when I see him….and yes, sometimes in winter he works out in jeans. Unbelievable.

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