7 things I’ve learnt about cruising

DH and I are off on a little trip tomorrow. Adults-only! We’re going to Munich because, in a society where half of BB’s school friends are tri-lingual, I like to delude myself that I can speak German (sadly, it’s not true. I did German at school then forgot the lot, but I can say Bier bitte!)

Our Easter was busy – the best bit being having family, even second cousins, in town. I love it when home comes to visit. We’ve been to The Palm, the beach, the Dubai Mall to see the fountains, then, today, somewhere I wanted to recommend to mums of little boys: the Sharjah Classic Car Museum.

It’s a great little outing, easy to get to and you can play this really fun game where you have to find the petrol tank on each vintage car – not as easy as it sounds! Never occurred to me to look behind the licence plate (who knew!).

So you won’t be hearing from me for a little while. For now, I’m going to leave you with a photo from Mum and Dad’s cruise, and since my parents seem to be living The Travel Channel at the moment, a few words about life on the high seas – gleaned from them in between the kids jumping on them and hustling them off to the play area.

Entertainment in Cochin, India

● Their boat, the new Queen Elizabeth, sailed through pirate waters. Spotters had binoculars trained on the horizon the whole time and there was an armed guard on board. A pirate drill was also carried out, in which passengers had to sit on the floor in the corridor outside their ‘stateroom’ (aka cabin!)

● Things to do on the boat included eating for England, learning bridge, attending lectures, shopping, playing deck games, bingo, golf, croquet, softball, ballroom dancing, the pub and tea in the ballroom served by white-gloved waiters and accompanied by a string quartet (a lot to fit in then!)

● Passengers who’d spent months at sea – including one on a 700-day ‘the-world’s-your-oyster’ vacation – received awards at cocktail parties hosted by the captain. Mum met someone who told her she didn’t bother getting off the boat anymore. “Been everywhere,” she said.

● People-watching must have been just as fun as all the activities – from the glamorous mum who walked round Mumbai in heels carrying a 2-year-old, to the Russian family with beautiful daughters – perhaps meant to be on the look out for husbands, but more interested in chatting up the sailors.

● Mum was attacked by a monkey on a little island off Malaysia after trying to defend someone’s bag and hasn’t forgiven the tour guide who turned to his friend to say, “Don’t get too close, they’re vicious!”

● The dress code in the evenings ranged from formal to semi-formal to elegantly casual.

● Mum’s highlight? Arriving in Dubai (awww!)