Whinging holidaymakers

We see our fair share of tourists here in Dubai – in winter, they’re the ones in the sea or pool, frolicking in the chilly water while those of us who live here year-round don’t even put our big toe in.

In summer, holidaymakers are the ones who totally underestimate the heat, and set out on foot only to return 15 minutes later drenched in sweat, the colour of beetroot and with a mild case of heat stroke.

I’ve passed many a happy few minutes observing the habits of visitors to our glittering emirate – from the beautiful Russians who strike model-like poses for their holiday snaps to the Gauloise-smoking French who wave my children away on the beach with a flick of the hand.

But tourists round the world, I’ve realised, share many similarities – one of which is a tendency to moan. I’m sure all nationalities do this, but I did find this list, from Thomas Cook Holidays detailing some of their UK clientele’s genuine complaints (and doing the rounds via email), especially hilarious.

"The beach was too sandy!"
“The beach was too sandy!”

Enjoy!

– “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store in Indian villages does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”

– “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time – this should be banned.”

– “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.”

– “We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.”

“We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.”

“No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”

“There was no egg-slicer in the apartment.”

“We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”

“It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home.”

“I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends’ three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller.”

“There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners now live abroad.”

“We had to queue outside with no air-conditioning.”

“It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”

“I was bitten by a mosquito. No-one said they could bite.”

“My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”

12 thoughts on “Whinging holidaymakers

  1. I have no words, only laughs. Ah, those tourists! Having lived in various foreign places, I’ve met a few who should have stayed home. But they probably complain there too.

  2. Hahahaha….almost impossible to believe! Of course, when we lived in Arizona, we had the same issues with tourists that you do – I still remember sitting around the pool in a sweatshirt and jeans watching my cousin’s kids happily frolicking in the water while my own boys refused to get in without their wetsuits on because it was ‘too cold.’ And of course, every summer, there was at least one dramatic airlift of a tourist who’d decided to hike Camelback at high noon in July with half a bottle of water and no hat and then inexplicably collapsed in the heat…sigh. Although, you’d think that maybe if people like that would travel often enough, they might start to get a little more savvy. We can only hope, right?

    • Wetsuits, how funny! My friend who’s been here 12 years or so was sitting on the beach with me recently, fully clothed and with the towel wrapped round her, as tourists swam!

  3. Love these – particularly the one about flight times to Jamaica being shorter from the US than from the UK. I mean honestly, who knew??

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